Friday, June 20, 2008

Dear Simone

It’s hard to believe that you’ll be here so soon. It feels so far off and so surreal still, and yet I know that in no time at all you’ll be in my arms. I’m soooo tired and feeling like I could just curl up in bed until you’re born. Dad is fishing for the next 10 days, so I’m alone with the boys. I got a babysitter tonight for them to play downstairs while I slept upstairs. I could hear them laughing downstairs, and it made the money spent so worth it...because I’m not feeling like a super fun mom. I have to remind myself that this is so worth it in the end. That once their sister arrives, my tiredness and irritability will be small prices to pay for a lifetime with you in our family. I remind myself that I’m growing a beautiful, magical human being – and that takes effort. It’s worth sleeping while I can. I want to be rested and ready to be your mama. But I’m also ready to not be so tired. =)

Jack and Andrew are so adorable with you already. When I was tucking Jack in tonight, he scooched down so he could sing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” to you through my belly. He loves hugging and kissing my belly, and goes crazy whenever you kick. I didn’t think Andrew would really “get” things, but I think he does. He kisses my belly and says, “Hello baby,” in his precious little baby voice. It sounds like: “Heh-yo, bebee.” Andrew also has a particular love for giving raspberries to my belly for you. Tickles like heck, but I try to endure it because it’s so darn cute. =)

We are all so thrilled to meet our new little girl. Dad will just say out of the blue, “I’m having a DAUGHTER!” He can’t wait for a little princess. He’ll be the perfect father for a girl...he loves strength and feisty women, so you’ll never have to be a dainty little teacup for him. =) You can be whoever you want to be, and he’ll love it. He can’t wait to be your dad.

I’ve been so glad you’re a little girl, in part because it helps others (outside of us) to be so excited. I wasn’t sure how to reassure people that we’d be delighted to have another boy, since there were sympathetic looks after 2. =) But I was ready and waiting for whatever we were given. I always envisioned 3 little boys, and wasn’t quite sure how I could parent a little girl. I wasn’t really raised around girls, and I’d felt a bit intimidated. I don’t feel that way now, though, and I’m not entirely sure why. As I stroke the lines of your body under my skin, I just know we’re going to be great together. You’re going to fit right into our family, and we’re just going to figure things out as we go...just like any new life I’m asked to parent. Isn’t it all “learning as we go?”

My sweet little girl. Come soon!

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