Monday, July 14, 2008
Crying, puking, and other bodily function fun
So, our family has had NO dignity today. It's raining, we're tired (TIRED!), and Andrew is having major "pre baby" reactions like the IL midwives warned me about. Everyone has either cried or felt like crying at several given points today. Maybe not Steve. But the rest of us. =)
The highlight: Jack emerged from the bathroom asking for...um...wiping assistance. He was holding the baby wipes. Andrew grabbed the wipes, Jack grabbed them back, Steve and I both said "We don't grab!" and the boys erupted into major tears (more about the rest of the day than the grabbing, but whatever).
It was a mess. Zero to crying in about 3 seconds of crabbiness. Jack was about to run off somewhere, but still needed wiped. Steve conjured up his best stern, serious face and said: "Wipe. Your. Butt."
I have never seen something so funny. Trying to maintain parental calm and issue a line like "Wipe your butt"? Omigod, it was hysterical. Perhaps only against the backdrop of the horrible shared family day, but it was such a needed comic relief.
Steve was still trying to be serious, so I hid my face in a pillow to laugh...about as hard as I'd laughed in years. Trying to hold it back just made it worse, and I ended up laughing so hard I puked. Puked! All over the pillow, in order to save the laptop that was right by me. Since we'd just learned the hard way that water damage isn't covered in our Mac warranty, I wasn't about to lose another computer. Having to buy a new couch pillow was worth it. New computer...not so much.
It did seem to turn the tide of our day somehow, as the boys helped rag the puke off their mother and we all laughed about my laughing till I puked.
Right now, Andrew is walking around wearing a straw hat...and not crying. Jack made a leash out of scotch tape and is having Steve walk him around the living room...and not crying.
Life is good again.