Sunday, July 27, 2008

"Due Week"

Well, I'm ready to get serious about having this little girl. I'm "due-ish" on Weds, which is my scan due date. Both boys were two weeks apart on LMP date, but within 24 hours of their 20 week ultrasound. I theorize it's because they were Perfectly Averaged Sized babies at 8lbs. So the size-for-date measurements must have been right on. Who knows with Lil' Simone.

I'm trying hard not to focus too much on the date...but who am I kidding? I'll go crazy if I'm too overdue. Waiting for babies has never been my strong suit.

We kicked off our Due Week by cleaning the house head to toe. Unloading that laundry basket of "miscellaneous stuff" that has been next to my bed. Since I'm giving birth in our bedroom (or at least, I presume I will), that laundry basket would annoy me. I set up all the cloth diapers that came out of the laundry, so Andrew's little butt should be set for a week. I put together a bunch of food for the boys for quick feeding, so our fridge is stocked. And Steve has been a darling, helping me nest by folding all our laundry, mowing the lawn, and cleaning the kitchen. Other stuff too, but those were my favorites. It's nice having someone on the job that doesn't have to sit down between tasks.

I feel really prepared for Simone's birth. I mean, as prepared as someone can be for such an unknown variable. With Jack, I was so completely thrown by how crazy long and complicated his birth was....since I only knew about breech babes (and that he wasn't one), I had no idea to be prepared for a posterior babe. I loved his birth and the triumph was an incredible high. But once you have a posterior babe...well, you'll do pretty much anything to prevent it again. One only needs to experience "back labor" once to get the idea. He was VERY worth it...but I don't mind never having another posterior-positioned babe again...

So I went into Andrew's birth ecstatic that he wasn't posterior. Well, turns out...there's something called an "asynclitic" head. We just called it "cock-eyed head" since the side of his head was over my cervix. Whoops. His labor was less complicated/long and was a beautiful, intervention-free homebirth. But I remember the midwife saying: "Do you feel a pain worse than the contraction?" in a particular spot of my uterus when she was "diagnosing" his asynclitic head. That comment has stayed with me, because I'm so curious to experience a birth that has "just" the regular old contractions.

Seeing their births and the overwhelming triumph (and those incredible, intoxicating endorphins of natural childbirth...I'm an addict) has prepared me for realizing that I'm up for anything. Whatever it takes to get this little, beautiful body out of me. But I also have an overwhelming curiosity to see what a short, non-complicated labor feels like. It really is a curiosity. What would that be like, to have your baby just come out the way they're "supposed" to come out? No re-positioning baby bodies or heads or whatever. Just the actual process, without weird little side-trips.

Jack was a 12 hour pushing stage and Andrew was 3 hours. I've heard women talking about pushing out their baby in 1 or 2 pushes. What does that FEEL like? I'm so curious!

I know more now, so the chances of an "easy" labor are certainly better. I still have my scoliosis, but I've been seeing my chiro about 2-4 times a week...getting the Webster Technique this last week and into this week....and doing all the goofy positioning on Maybe I'm just not destined for those short and straightforward labors, but this at least ups the odds that I can see what that feels like. I think I'm just a birthing nerd, because despite having gone through great pains to avoid C-sections, I have some curiosity about that one too. But I can live without that one, especially with the separation from babe right after birth.

Who knows. I believe so deeply that babies are given the birth that they are supposed to have. I don't wish away a single thing about either boys' births, even if they were labeled "dysfunctional" by medical people. Those were OUR stories about how they entered the world. I can see so much significance and purpose for those births. So whatever happens with my sweet little Simone during her entry into the world, I'm up for the challenge. I can't wait to see what our story is, what she looks like, who she is...

I'm pretty thrilled that she'll be here any day. I mean, hey...even if she's overdue (please God, no!!), I'll be holding her so soon.

What magic.

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