Monday, November 10, 2008

Mothering boys

Anyone who thinks they will have a toy-weapon-free home with 2 little boys...well...likely never had 2 little boys who are older than infants.

Good lord.

Most meals have some item of food turned into weaponry. I've been "held-up" by a chicken finger more times than I can count. I've had pasta flung at my head with sound effects right out of old Batman episodes. Pshew! Pow! You don't have to teach young boys these noises...they come pre-wired.

Ah yes...I did have some visions of gender-neutral parenting. Before children. ;) Luckily, I'd had enough warnings from moms whom I respected (who had gentle, non-violent children) warning me that my sons will likely chew their toast into the shapes of guns and point them at me over breakfast. So I gave up that fight early on, and yet...the strength of that tendency AMAZES me. Omigod! Andrew covets this wooden puzzle piece in the shape of a power drill. Sometimes, he pretends to screw in hinges on all of our doors. Other times, he just bounds around the house pointing it at us saying: "Pyew-pyew!" [Psst...don't tell! He's getting a toy drill for Christmas, so we can retire the puzzle piece.]

The other oddity of boys is that they love the "pointy thing" before they even know *what* a gun is. Even before they had the vocabulary to know what a gun really was, Jack called it a "die" and Andrew called it a "beep-beep." I remember Tiny Jack pointing something at me and telling me to fall over. When I asked what he liked about guns, he said: "Because it makes people die...and that makes them happy!"

If I tried to override the need to point-and-shoot puzzle pieces and chicken strips, we'd lead a very unhappy co-existance. And...I'd still lose the battle. So now I've learned to just clutch my chest and fall over...and make the day of a sweet, gentle little warrior.

Little boys are so perfectly perfect. Noisy as hell! But charmingly wonderful too, if you can look past the dirty faces, constant WWF wrestling fests, and Batman noises. Heehee. Oh yes...and the Need to Be a SuperHero. I'll miss the omnipresent Spiderman/Superman/Batman suits when my boys have grown out of going to the grocery store in capes and masks.

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