Monday, December 15, 2008

Grace under fire

When I met Steve, I just thought he was gorgeous and wanted to have a fling with him. I was a bit startled to learn he actually had a personality, and then as we talked more, that he was a stunningly intelligent man. This wasn't in the cards, and I wasn't quite sure what to think. It's much more difficult to have "just a fling" with one of the finest persons you've ever met...but he came at a very bad time for anything more (I was about to head out of the country and not see him for 8 months). I've now been with that Fling for 12 years and carried three of his children...so there you go.

This past week, though, has added another layer of shock-value to the quality of my husband...as he's managed to be the perfect partner for every up and down of the roller coaster. Letting me cry as needed. Laughing with me about silly Mom memories. Making it clear that he would drop everything and drive home to Minnesota (with almost certain blizzards along the way). He shuffles the kids to another room when he hears it's my dad phoning with updates. He puts on Spiderman for Andrew before he leaves in the morning, because he knows it's the only thing that can actually keep Andrew interested in the TV (giving about a 3% higher chance of actually getting to stay in bed until 8AM). He decided yesterday that I hadn't eaten enough that day, so he whipped up pancakes. All this despite a currently crazy work schedule and almost no sleep for the last week or so. And perhaps most notable...that he didn't blink as he offered to take on Simone's 6AM poopy diaper this morning, so I could get a bit more sleep to get ready for the upcoming few weeks.

This is a man who would sit by my hospital bed and hold my hand for days on end, no question.

They say crisis shows the depths of a person, but I think it's more than just how an individual handles their own crisis. Handling others' seems almost trickier. You have to discern the appropriate level of coddling vs. space, and it can vary by the minute. Steve doesn't make it look hard at all.

This last week has made me appreciate and love my mom even more, but perhaps more surprisingly to me is how it catapulted my relationship with Steve to another layer of being stunned with the person he is. I'm feeling really lucky all around right now.

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