Saturday, February 14, 2009

Love Languages

We read a book a long time ago about love languages, and learned that Steve's was touch and mine was "gift giving" or tangible tokens of love. I don't care about expensive things, but if he comes home with a doughnut for me, I'm in love.

Andrew spends a lot of time wanting to snuggle and be carried around, much more so than Jack at this age. I'd thought it was because of watching Simone be carried, but that didn't really make sense. He associates much more with the "big kid" half of our family than the baby-half, although so much of his stage spans both. Andrew's age is like the middle section of a Venn diagram.

Then, I had a parenting "a-ha" moment that realized his love language was probably physical touch...hence needing to spend 30-45 minutes snuggling every morning after he first gets up. And, all those spontaneous hugs and cuddles during the day.

Jack goes nuts if I offer him some type of surprise, no matter how small, so he's almost definitely "gift giving." You can almost see his toes tingle if I tell him I have a present for him.

So I said to Jack: "If you had to choose between a hug and a sticker, which would you choose?"

With bright eyes: "Oh, a sticker!"

"Andrew, would you rather have a hug or a sticker?"

Running across the room with open arms, he dove into my lap and hugged me like a baby monkey whose mama was about to go on a year-long trip. "A hug."

What a snuggle-bug he is.

Parenting is a constantly evolving journey of realizations. I guess like any relationship. But with parenting, you have to do most of the sleuthing yourself.

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