Saturday, March 14, 2009

Evolution of children

I love when kids can talk. I think that's when my parenting comes into bloom. Babies have their own special magic - the miracle of how new and fresh they are - and I'm thrilled to have that period with my babies. But when they can create thoughts and speak new ideas...awesome. Everything they say (or cry about) might not always be so awesome. But seeing their selves coming to life is phenomenal. It re-fuels my parenting tank on a daily basis.

A friend once told me they love mothering until they reach the "age of reason." Then they struggle with parenting, amidst that need for independence. Finding autonomy can be a huge pain for mothering, as I see with Andrew at age 2. And yet, even if the situations are a problem (like figuring out how to explain to him why he can't play with sharp knives)...I am still so in awe with that drive in humans to evolve. To move away from total dependence. To seek and explore.

How Simone has that overwhelming drive to scale the stairs. An almost automated magnetism towards it, every time we set her down on the ground. How she's struggling to speak to us, and ends up grunting like a dinosaur instead of making real words. So funny. Right now, she's down on the floor - and this little tuft of hair just appeared over the chair arm as she pulled herself up. She's smiling at me, triumphant. Ooh, I love this stuff.

Andrew is reaching that age that just delights me to no end. There was a boy on the playground at the dentist's waiting room who was....well, I don't have nice things to say about him. His mom was nowhere to be found, so we had to intervene while he pushed Andrew off the slide, hit his brother, and a few other things. At one point, Jack and Andrew tag-teamed spraying him with invisible spiderwebs, like Spiderman. That pretty much sums it all up. When Steve and I were discussing him later in the kitchen, Andrew shook his head in wonder and said with such emotion: "He was a mean kid." There was something about the soul of Andrew that seemed to come to the surface in that moment....his expression, the tone of his voice, his matter of fact analysis. He was a knowing, sensing, feeling human being. I felt tingles of recognition that I was seeing something important in him.

He burned his hands badly when he was 11 months old. He has scar tissue on the palm of one of his hands that is really sensitive to cold. You can't see it too easily, but he notices it still. I've just recently realized that when he comes in from outside and goes to the sink, it's to run warm water over his scar to warm it up. Before, I guess I'd just assumed he was playing in the water or washing his hands or something. Didn't pay much attention. But that he's developing this strategy for warming himself (that we didn't teach him)....I could just tear up with love for this little man in my life.

No comments: