Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The best gift

I love Andrew so much. Love him. Watching my children grow is like opening a fabulous Christmas present one square-inch at a time. I keep seeing these little clues about what's inside, and can't wait to learn more.

I often say that it's hard to tease out what's "2-year-old" about a child and what is the child's true self. Like being a teenager, Jenny said, and I imagine that's true.

When I see "Andrew" floating to the top, I am just abuzz with joy about who he is. The heart in that child. The spunky mischief. The scary intellect. The sweet kindness and absolute love for other people.

He is still so much of the undomesticated animal of toddlerhood. Throwing balls across the room, because his body spoke before his mind. Spilling things. Breaking sunglasses. Dumping food because he forgot to carry his plate vertically. Bonking Simone's head with his, because he hugged too hard.

Man oh man.

He woke up from his nap crying. The cry that just seems to be about release, not because there was a reason. He bawled and bawled, not saying anything else as he sat on the stairs, on my lap, and wandering around the upstairs. Then Jack fell onto his pirate ship and started bleeding. Instantly, Andrew stopped crying. Tuned completely into Jack, patting his back, asking him if he was all right, instructing me that Jack needed a band-aid.

We went, all three, into the bathroom to clean up Jack's knee. Andrew wanted to help, so I gave him an extra band-aid to put somewhere on Jack (after I put on the "real" ones). The tenderness in his soul! The gentle way he put it on.

I absolutely love who this child is becoming.

It's like the first couple of years are just pouring self into your child...taking care of their needs...figuring out who they are, and how to intermingle in each of the dyads that make up a family. And then one day, you start seeing the investment mean something. Your child becomes the lessons you work so hard to model, to talk about, to teach. It's so slow-going and hard to see the payoffs some days. But when you do...there's nothing like it. Growing this human being that will go out into the world with something positive and good? It really does feel to me to be what life is all about. Filling persons we love up with love, and the letting it all spill out into the world.

1 comment:

Whittney said...

What an absolutely precious observation of your little angel. I have always thought both your boys were fascinating people. It will be very interesting to get to know Simione.