Saturday, January 2, 2010

First day of the rest of our lives

I believe in 2010. 2009, not too shabby. But there is something in the air. I can feel it. We're stumbling into our best stage yet.

I love where the kids' ages are heading. Fifty hours in the car on our Christmas sojourn...and they.were.incredible. I wanted to buy each of them a pony in appreciation. That we can have these experiences, do these things, and not have it go up in flames of diaper-changes, emergency nursing sessions in the cramped backseat, and crying just feels so damn good. Our children are becoming people...not just bundles of needs. I love the magic of infancy...but I ADORE my children as their maturing selves.

And what we learned at the meeting with Deborah, at Jack's test, changed our life. Steve said it best when he said she didn't give us anything new in our situation - nothing changed. She just quantified everything. Validated what we were suspecting, feeling, wondering. There's closure. There's information! I thrive on knowing. And if it were just about Jack's number, the meeting wouldn't have lasted 5 hours. Hearing about how he thinks, what he needs, how he learns, who he is...we've been processing it almost non-stop since we met her. There's a liberation from any insecurities, doubts, fears. We're both feeling it, and basking in the glow of what it means for him, the two little ones, and for our parenting.

I now have a new perception on our sense of normal, and that we can't really find normalcy in our experience with him or the others. But she gave us a new normal. And that feels just as good. Maybe better. I feel so excited about his future. So much of what I've felt, sensed, and seen have now clicked into place.

This is going to be a great year. Perhaps our best one yet.

No comments: