Thursday, March 18, 2010

Heightened states

So I'm changing the blog name from Mama Ramblings, not because the "rambling" doesn't fit (goodness knows I'm a pro at that), but because it's not just about motherhood.

It started out as my journal for Simone's birth and then exploded into its own little animal. It became the catchall for every area of my life, even couching my emotional journey through my mom's dying and death. To call it Mama Ramblings negates all the other facets of who I am. Yes, I'm a mother...and it's often the most pressing area of my life. Mainly because it demands to be clothed, fed, read to... and while I'm at it, please wipe its butt. Several times a day.

But I love all sorts of things. My husband. My work. Travel. Food. Children's parties. And then driving home from dinner with friends tonight, I had a moment. Peaceful driving moments often lead to epiphanies...perhaps because the mental clutter at home doesn't allow much free-range thought.

I decided to change the title to what I always say around home (and several times in this very blog): Love is the heightened state of all emotions.

When I read back through our history, I smile at our good days. Give a sympathetic nod to the Me who feels chicken-pecked and over-committed and not very nice. Wish I could go back to those not-so-great mothering days and have a do-over, although I'm seeing how those imperfect days are actually pretty darn important.

As I said in the wedding vows I wrote for Steve: "Life doesn't have to be perfect for our love to be perfect, and I don't ask that it is. I just want to be with you."

Perfect. Imperfect. I'll take it all. What I like most is that there is always, always love.

So that, folks, is what this blog is now officially about. Love, in all its messy and colorful forms.

I guess it was all along, I just filed it in the wrong place.

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