Thursday, April 1, 2010

Surviving House Showings

Here is my survival plan for dealing with house-showings when you have 3 children ages 5 and under.  Who like to eat.  And play with Legos.  And dump things recreationally.

Step 1: That Mt. Everest pile of laundry in the laundry room to fold?  Shove it BACK into the dryer.  2-3 loads fits quite nicely, if you cram it in tightly enough.  So brilliant I wish I'd thought of it weeks ago.

Step 2: Hide the cast iron pots to-be-scrubbed into the stove.  They're not inspecting the stove, just the house.  I hope.

Step 3: Buckle your 1-year-old into her car seat with a bowl of strawberries to occupy her.   Pay your 5-year-old $1 to come in and tell you if/when she cries.  Put a movie in the car's DVD player for your 5yo and 3yo, and also give them strawberries.  Vacuum and sweep like a mad-man while they're all confined.  Wonder why you didn't think of *this* weeks ago.

Step 4: Gather up all the toys and random clutter in the house, put it into a laundry basket, shove it in the car.  All the boxes for Goodwill go out there too. Now you look like that woman from the school with a hoarding problem and an overflowing car, but you don't care. 

Step 5:  Take a deep breath as you look around the house, and feel overcome with joy that you're ready.  Then, filibuster the day by keeping the kids out of the house for 7 hours...because really, that's the only way it will stay clean.

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