Thursday, April 8, 2010

You can keep 16, thank you

Back home in Virginia Beach.  Loved Philly.  We'll definitely be back.  I have a loooong list of things we missed, but Steve had class tonight and decided he couldn't reasonably skip two nights.  It's good to be home, strangely, even though it was a relatively quick trip.  No matter how short or long the trip is, coming home always feels great.  And the post-road-trip shower.  Ah!  One of my favorite parts of travel. :)

On the way home, I was rummaging in a forgotten compartment in our van and found the old Mellencamp CD Steve gave me back in college.  These days, we just would have downloaded "Jack and Diane" on iTunes.  I feel so young...only 31...and yet we're already doing the "remember how we used to...." statements.  As in, remember when we used to buy an entire CD for one song?

Love that song.  Worth buying a whole CD.

There's a part where he says:  "Hold on to 16 as long as you can...changes come along real soon make us women and men."  And I was thinking how grateful I was to be at the place I'm at now.  Responsibility and sleeplessness aside, adulthood fits my skin better than my teen years.  I loved high school and remember it fondly...but that autonomy process can be uncomfortable.  I don't really long to go back.  This place, this moment, is a really good fit.

Yes, there are exorbitant dental bills... and how completely UN-fun it was to have to pay them $3000 in taxes this year.  Refunds went out the window when I became an independent contractor.  You'd think those things would make me regret the Adult Phase.  The only thing less fun would be a new roof. :)

But those seem like a small price to pay for the sigh of relief to have found my family, my career path, my right hair color, and to have finally figured out my perfect jeans.  I'm getting good at being me, in a lot of ways.  I know what I value, what I want to center around, and am finally crystallizing my thoughts on God and Purpose and other Biggies.  I definitely know what I'm seeking in friendships, in how I want to spend money.  So many different areas are coming together.  I'm loving my 30s.

Not that they won't change and evolve, but I like the sense of peace and calm as I poke around in my personal philosophies.  The angst of that teen decade is gone. I'm looking forward to tweaking life as I go, as that's what makes things interesting.  But going back to 16 doesn't seem that tempting.

I hope that sense of calm about my current place travels with me.  Maybe even keeps getting better?  It will be interesting to watch.

No comments: