Friday, December 17, 2010

Happy 4th Birthday, Andrew.

Sometimes, a mild panic can come over me when I do the math.  My sweet little baby Andrew is now 4, which is more than 1/5th of the way to adulthood.  My goodness, it's going so fast.  I have absolutely adored getting to know you, and want to soak up every minute of your tiny self.  You will not be little for much longer.

When people see you in passing, they always comment on your smile.  Your whole face smiles.  Or more accurately, your whole body.  Nothing about you is halfway.  You do everything - eat, run, hug, laugh, speak - at such levels of extreme.  Even your smiles involve your arms, your shoulders, your eyes.

When people see you for more than a few minutes, they comment on  how active you are.  You don't stop moving.  When you eat, you are bouncing.  When you draw at the table, you are hopping in place as you move your pen.  There are thuds coming from whatever room you are in.  And very often, things are broken within minutes. 

This energy can drive me crazy sometimes, but it's always about my own reserves that day.  There is no malice in you.  There is nothing that means harm or ill-intent.  You are just "Andrew."  Active and busy and exploring. 

When someone spends more than a few hours with you, they always comment on your hugs.  We joke that you'll be the Free Hugs guy, standing in Times Square.  You love so much and so raw.  It radiates from you, that love.  I have never in my life been given a hug like the ones you give: You wrap arms and legs around us...burrow your face into our neck...and just hang on to us.  There's not a clingy insecurity about you; there is just 100% pure, unadulterated LOVE.

I have loved watching you "become":  From that tiny little being that came from my body to this fabulous young boy.  You are wicked smart and so filled with joy and love, I can't imagine it won't take you to lovely places in life.

We were gone to Cancun for a wedding for 5 days, and it was the longest we'd ever been away from you kids.  We got home after midnight, and all three of you were in bed.  I went in to check on you, and my heart just melted as I saw your tiny little self asleep on the bed.  I wanted to wake you and hold you.  I kissed your forehead and crawled into bed, exhausted from the travel day.

And then we heard your little footsteps a few minutes later... and your sweet angel voice saying: "Mommy?  Mommy!"  Then you crawled into bed and curled up next to me unquestioningly, like it was the only place you were meant to be.  I will be sad when you outgrow those snuggles. 

You bring me so much joy.  Thinking about you, talking to you, snuggling with you in the morning.  Every time I'm with you, I know we were meant to be son and mother.  You are a perfect fit for me.

You are loved and adored and a beautiful ornament on our family tree.  Your sword fighting, Star Wars-loving self are just what we needed.

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