Monday, March 7, 2011

Loving our doodleheads

There are things Steve can do in parenthood that I'm completely unable to do well.  Wrestle, for one.  After a few tackle attempts, I'm not sure what else to do.  I try, but it doesn't come naturally.  Watching Star Wars marathons without wanting to die of boredom, for another.  

And bigger things, too. He finds most joy in being gone at work, providing for the family. That nourishes his fathering spirit, to work hard for us.  I love my job and doing what I do, but I'd feel so much stress having the family depend on my income. That fuels him, to provide for us.  I really appreciate that about him.

I think what I value most in the co-parenting, though, is that there is another person in the world who loves these little sprouts as much as I do.

I love Steve for many reasons, and most of them pre-date children.  In fact, the only reason I really craved children (before meeting them) was that I wanted to make Little Persons with him.  It was my wifehood, not my motherhood, that drove that decision.

Children bring this whole new facet to marriage, in ways I couldn't have quite fathomed.  It's true that there are some days we run circles around each other...maybe even sharing space all day, like on the weekends, without really getting to sit down and talk.  And when we do, they're often conversations to swap notes about child-stuff.

Romance in the typical sense is definitely hard to find.

But what surprises me most in marriage and in parenthood:  How deeply connecting it is to love little persons with your spouse.  To see him become a father.  To know you can call him during the day and leave a voice mail with a Funny Kid Story, and know there's no way he could listen without laughing out loud.  How his heart melts at his daughter, coming into the kitchen with her sparkly-purse and plastic high heels. Watching him give piggy-back rides for the 1,235th time that day, just to hear them giggle.

That deep, aching, almost-painful love I feel for my children?  He's feeling it in the same depth on his end, about the same little doodleheads.

And when we roll our eyes at each other, across the munchkin-heads running screaming through the living room?  I know that behind our shared need for quiet and calm and wishing they'd just would take a bullet for those same screaming monkeys without batting an eye.

Loving these children with the man who helped make them really IS the most romantic thing we've ever done together.

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