Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Why did I have kids?

I was putting Simone to sleep tonight, and her eyes had been closed a few minutes.  I thought she might even be asleep.  Suddenly, she opened them a bit and said quietly:  "Why did you have kids?"

"Because I wanted to pass my love on to someone.  Because I wanted to make a family with Daddy."

"Why do some people not have kids?"

"A lot of reasons. Everyone lives their lives differently."

"Hmm."  She nodded.  Put one hand on each side of my face. Then closed her eyes.  

I could name a lot of reasons why it rocks to be a mother to these little ones.  It feels really good to teach them new things...take them new places...the amazing hugs they give...planning themed birthday parties. ;)  And yes...making a family with Steve.  That was (and is) a big one.

But man...I couldn't think of a single one outside of that moment with sweet, pudgy, toddler hands cupping my face.  Her tiny angel breath on my face.  And watching her fall into sleep.  I just wanted to hold on to that moment forever.  

Simone is on the verge of not being a tiny one at all anymore.  Her third birthday is on the horizon. I want to memorize every moment of her toddler ridiculousness, but I am also enamored by watching her become a girl.  Slivers of who she might someday become. 

Any reasons I had for creating children pale in comparison to what it means to me now. 

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