Thursday, January 13, 2011

I want to marry iTunes and have its babies

Words probably cannot describe how I feel right now...the most perfect exhilaration...but I feel like typing anyway, so I'll just word-vomit on my blog about the wondrousness of today.  Even though Blogspot tells me "wondrousness" isn't a real word.

I can't even take the credit for the wondrousness, because the catalyst was my children banding together and calling my NPR station mean things like "boring"..."too much talking"... and "where's music, like when Daddy drives us places?"  

I started thinking about it, and our schedule of listening to each of their favorite songs on repeat for awhile and then switching to NPR wasn't really that thrilling.  I mean, we talk and things in the car (good lordy, how they talk!).  But maybe they're right and we need more music.

A post on Facebook seeking requests (and getting fabulous ones) and about 5 hours on iTunes - including the time to actually DOWNLOAD iTunes, as I've never even bothered to do it - and suddenly, I get it.

I really, really, really get it.

We are meant to have music.  Even persons like me...who can't carry a tune and lip-synced the flute after the first year of band.  There must be something in our souls that are wired to be hungry for it.  

The type of music might vary, but music is such a balm for the psyche that it must be primal.

I feel like someone just threw me a surprise party with my long-lost friends.  That is, back in the day when you COULD  have long-lost friends, before Facebook made that concept null.  

Some of these songs, I used to have to REWIND MY BOOMBOX CASSETTE PLAYER to listen to it 400 million times.  Rocky Raccoon, Leader of the Band, I'm Gonna Be (500 miles), Your Song, Let It Be.

Our wedding song, Home to You, which is strikingly perfect for our couplehood even after a decade has gone by.  Return to Pooh Corner, which brought me to my hypnotic, peaceful place when I was birthing Andrew. 

Ani DiFranco's, You Had Time, which I had on repeat the entire last month of my time in Prague - when I was getting a major case of cold feet about coming back to Steve and what our relationship would look like after all that time across an ocean from each other.  Listening to that song today, I can still conjure up those feelings I had...and now wish I could go back and tell That Sarahbeth that all would be fine. 

Oh my goodness.  How did I ever think I wasn't a music person?  Maybe I can't create it, sure...but that's completely different from curling up on the couch with my daughter and rocking out to Eye of the Tiger.  Jack's eyes lighting up when he heard Simon and Garfunkel's The Boxer.  Simone asking for Bohemian Rhapsody "again and again." 

We are never going without music again.  I will never see that as Steve's area to cover in our life.  I've got my own musical history and personality, and I need to re-discover it.