Thursday, February 10, 2011

Parenthood and my GPS

I love my children. I love them so much that I want to invent a new word that can possibly wrap arms around this feeling in me.

Rocking Andrew to sleep tonight.  His sweet, tiny little self.  What pure, loving hugs he gives.  How he asked me if he should buy me a diamond-heart necklace for Valentine's Day.  He saw a commercial tonight.  I asked him if he knew what Valentine's Day was, and he said no.  But did I still want a necklace?

Jack reading me his Star Wars book tonight, after the little ones were in bed.  Curled up on the couch, him and me. I love being with him.  This grown-up side of him is emerging. His calm, centered little insights about life. How he says things like, "There are successes...and then there are 'keep-tryings.'"  I gave him a bear-hug and said, "I can't believe this little man is that same big-headed gray blob that came out of me."  He takes great pride in his giant infantile head. He smiled, nodded and said, "Yeah, that's pretty strange, huh?"  Kid...you have NO idea.

And Simone.  OMG.  Simone.  Her non-stop chatter.  Her enthusiastic little babble about everything.  "I just 'wub' pink ice cweam." The little princess purse she bought yesterday, with the fake lipstick, credit card, and cell phone.  She puts the cell phone to her ear, having a very serious conversation with imaginary-Elsa while she puts on her fake lipstick.  She is heart-wrenchingly beautiful to me.

Parenting these creatures is similar to my car's GPS.  Both of them are mind-blowing realities in my everyday life.  How either of them work, how they came to be...I have no idea.  Miracles, both of them. And with my children and my GPS, I have the audacity to get annoyed with them sometimes.  Frustrated when they don't "work" the way I think they should. Instead of just basking in the glory that even if the path isn't the way I would have chosen or charted, we're heading where we're supposed to go. 

And in both, there are more re-calculations than I can possibly count.